Naked Gardening: The Bare Facts

It’s legal to garden in the nearly-nude, but who’d want to?

naked-gardening-blogPerhaps you’ve read the story in the Denver Post about the two Boulder gardeners who were working in their front yard dressed like Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

Neighbors complained to law enforcement, but police said there was nothing illegal about gardening while wearing just enough to cover the bare necessities.

The couple’s landlord sent a letter saying their gardening attire was violating a clause in their lease that prohibits nuisance¬†behavior.

I’m not here to take sides on the issue; I prefer to let all of the parties involved in this dispute solve it on their own.

But while working in the garden this weekend, I tried to imagine what it would be like to prune thorny rose canes, pull weeds and mow the lawn while in the buff.

What came to mind was a lot of scratches, cuts, bruises, stings from red ants,  mosquito bites and sunburn in places where the sun has never shined.

I have a hard enough time gardening while fully clothed. Even when wearing long sleeves, gloves, pants,  sturdy shoes and socks, I rarely have a day without some sort of painful incident.

At the beginning of the season I was hurrying to finish one last chore before quitting for the day when my foot caught the edge of a downspout and, before I could catch myself, I landed hard on both knees on the concrete patio.

I pulled myself up and limped inside to apply some Arniflora Arnica Gel to help prevent bruising and was delighted to find my jeans had taken the worst of the spill.

Gardening is a contact sport and it requires nearly the same amount of gear used in motocross racing, except for a wide-brimmed hat instead of a helmet.

Besides the hazards from trips and falls, there is always the potential for a back injury, cuts and scrapes, sunburn, dehydration, eye injury and harm from power tools. Any puncture to the skin, like a deep wound from a thorn, can put gardeners at risk for tetanus.

As hard as I tried, I couldn’t imagine the benefit from gardening in the nude, especially when I estimated the cost for all that additional sunscreen.


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